The Everyday Practice of Non-Violent and Inclusive Communication
Cathleen Aretz, Malula Remote Intern
8/17/20262 min read
Non-violent communication (NVC) is more than a method: it is a way of being in the world. Recently, the Malula Foundation invited its volunteers to a training session on inclusive listening and non-violent communication, aiming to root these values in day-to-day interactions with partners and communities.
Gabriela, one of the participants, reflects: "All the participants discussed situations in which, out of habit or unintentionally, we perpetuate stereotypes and expressions of violence." The volunteer says she learned to be more conscious and self-reflective, and to think critically. After the training she felt able to communicate more respectfully. "This sort of gathering is extremely valuable because it creates dialogue," she emphasises.
Dialogue. A term that comes up frequently when talking to the volunteers. When Jefrey, one of the volunteers, talks about the work, he says: "Malula has represented a continuous dialogue." What he describes is one of the core pillars of NVC: being open to and having genuine interest in others words and experiences.
This involves moving beyond judgements of what is 'right' or 'wrong' and recognising that there may be more. One of the core elements of NVC is empathic listening, which can mean paying attention to more than just spoken words, as Lina learned one day. She explains: "I had the opportunity to hear the history of Bojayá through the testimony of the people who had lived in the community, to see the River Atrato, the canoes and its people, to listen to their songs, and to feel the sense of loss that still lingers in that place." Bojayá is one of the partnering communities of Malula. This form of listening shapes how she wants Malula to work. Although Lina had already studied the history of the Bojayá community from an academic perspective, being there stopped it from being something distant or unfamiliar that she had only seen and heard about only through photographs and videos.
Distance is the opposite of what NVC offers, and this is why it is important for Malula to offer training to its volunteers. NVC is empathy for one's own feelings and needs, and beyond that, for the feelings and needs of others. Empathy is one of Malula's core values, and the organisation believes its work should never impose one worldview on others. Instead, they want to focus on listening (in its various forms) and recognise the needs, knowledge, and cultures of the people they work with.
Internalising this practice also means letting yourself be surprised by something new, Lina mentions. "I came away with new questions, perspectives and even some unease," she reflects recalling a talk she participated in. Sitting with that unease and recognising your once feelings, is itself a core strength of NVC. Recognising once feelings toward others is often challenging, but doing so helps build the mindset and foundation of Malula: empathy and dialogue.
That this mindset and approach resonates shows in the experience of Alejandra. She says: "Malula has been a defining experience in my university life. It has provided a safe space." NVC takes training. Empathic listening is a process, and it needs room for people to grow into it. That space exists with Malula. Alejandra concludes: "Peace-building in Colombia is a journey that begins by listening to the stories of people we perceive as radically different from ourselves, but through which we can see that there are more stories and memories that unite us than those that divide us."
Lina puts it simply: "Have fewer assumptions and listen more."
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Non-violent communication (NVC) was developed by the American psychologist Marshall Rosenberg, beginning in the 1960s and 70’s, with his key institution (the Center for Non-violent Communication) founded in 1984. The practice invites people to connect with each other based on empathy.